Hokuto could feel a cup of piping hot tea splashed onto his face. It was the one he just made himself and served to the three people sitting on the couch in front of him: a middle-aged man and woman, and a girl in her teenage years. As if that wasn’t enough, the culprit—the teenage girl, had emptied the cup by pouring the remaining water right on top of his head, drenching his hair and worn-out kimono.
He flinched with every drip of that hot water hurting his skin, but he could only bow down, bite his lips and hold the pain in without letting any single groan out. Hold it in, you’ve experienced worse, Hokuto whispered to himself as the water ran down his temples, passing through his scar-decorated cheek. He knew very well that he’ll probably get another cup of tea thrown at him, or maybe worse, get another scar if he makes any noise.
“What is this!? It tastes so horrible!” the girl shouted at him. Hokuto bowed deeper in front of the girl’s feet, not even daring to look at her face nor to wipe the excess liquid off his skin.
“I… I’m terribly sorry.”
“You make tea everyday, but how come you never get a single one right? Did you expect me to drink such bitter tea!?”
“Now, now, just let him be, Mahina dear. You know he won’t understand even if you shout at him,” the middle-aged woman patted the girl’s shoulder.
Hokuto was sure he put enough sugar into the girl’s—Mahina’s cup since the other servants told him she likes her tea sweet. His first time was quite a disaster, but even after he learned the hard way, no matter how much he tried, Mahina still insisted he gets it wrong every time.
“Tidy this mess and get out of here,” the woman eyed him in disdain while clicking her tongue.
“And don’t forget to clean that soot on your face, you look uglier than you already are,” Mahina said again.
“My apologies…”
The middle-aged man sitting across Mahina only looked at him for a split second before focusing back on his newspaper, but Hokuto was sure he saw a flint of cynical look in his eyes, enough for him to feel like he was their biggest disappointment. Except that wasn’t just a mere exaggeration.
In their eyes, he was a failure.
The Oizumi family is a renowned family, one of the few remaining wealthy families who possess “gifts”, supernatural powers which enables them to use magic like controlling objects or elements. Hokuto is their eldest son, born out of his parents’ political marriage. Even though born from a loveless couple, he remembered his mother as the one who loves him the most. His father was strict and wasn’t the type to dote on his child, but he was a kind man nevertheless.
That was until his mother passed away when he was only ten. The kind man Hokuto once knew is now gone, replaced with the cold and stern man who won’t even bat an eye on him. And when he did look at him, he always looked at him with those menacing narrowed eyes of his, as if Hokuto’s the most disgusting insect he needs to get rid of. The man he once called ‘dad’, the same man who’s now sitting across Mahina.
As the eldest son he was supposed to inherit his father, Oizumi Yo as the family head, but Hokuto knew he was stripped down of that position right after his half-sister was born. Not long after his wife’s passing, Lord Oizumi remarried his previous lover, the cunning Lady Chisako. She was separated from her lover because of the political marriage, and had carried a long-time grudge towards Hokuto and his mother for indirectly causing the break-up.
Now that she enters the household, the first step of her whole plan was a success. The next step was to make Hokuto suffer as much as possible, as her form of revenge. She threw hurtful comments on him, she bossed him around in the same fashion as how she treats the house’s servants, mean and heartless. Soon the verbal torment turned into a physical one, and his father did nothing to prevent it. The scar on his right cheek was proof of that.
The last step of her plan was to rob Hokuto off his family heir position. And her ultimate weapon for executing this step came in the form of Mahina. She was like salt sprinkled all over his wound, like the key locking him together with his misery forever.
Mahina, his beautiful half-sister with alluring foxy eyes, bright-colored hair and fair skin. His sister who’s blessed with the gift to see spirits invisible to normal human eyes, a gift inherited from their ancestors and treasured by the whole family. His sister, who realized from early on that she’s much more favoured by their father, much more than her older brother. Hokuto noticed his father’s change of attitude after they first discovered Mahina’s gift. The middle-aged man was cold and stern before, and turned even more distant to him as Mahina grew older and her spirit-sight ability got stronger.
Maybe if he had Mahina’s beauty or Mahina’s spirit-sight, his life would be so much different than it is now. Unfortunately he doesn’t have any of those. And that makes more reason for Mahina and her mother to belittle him more.
With hands still trembling, Hokuto tidied the cups just as ordered and right that room as quickly as he could before Mahina, his father or stepmother could throw any further comments about him. He’s been getting this treatment for years, and he knows it’s best not to fight back.
.
.
.
Hokuto continued his chores after cleaning himself from the mess earlier. He knew he’s still far from looking good, but at least this was the most presentable version of himself. He’s now sent to sweep outside the house. The other servants seem to understand the situation he’s in, and they were kind enough to let him be as far as possible from either Lady Chisako and Mahina, even though he still can’t avoid the tea-serving duty. But thankfully other than that, he’s mostly in charge of outdoor cleaning and laundry which don’t require him to encounter his stepmother or half-sister face-to-face.
He was in the middle of sweeping their garden when he saw some of the servants rushing to the front gate. A car could be seen coming closer, passing through the gate before parking right beside it. The servants prepared themselves to greet the people getting out of the car: a middle-aged man around Lord Oizumi’s age, and a young man with a familiar face.
“Welcome, Shimekake-sama.”
Hokuto could feel his heart clenching when he heard the name. He looked at them walking past the garden from afar. The middle-aged man went inside the residence pretty quickly, while the young man, the moment he caught sight of Hokuto, immediately walked over to his spot.
“Hey,” the young man greeted him. “Long time no see.”
“Hello, Ryuya-san, It’s been a while,” Hokuto replied.
The young man pouted a bit. “You promised to call me Shime when there’s only the two of us.”
“I’m s-sorry, Shime.”
“Please, don’t be. You’re cleaning the garden today too?”
“Yes, I was tasked with sweeping the garden today. I didn’t know you’re visiting, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to greet you at the front gate earlier.”
Shime patted Hokuto’s shoulder. “You didn’t do anything wrong. No need to be so stiff, my dad’s inside already. I also don’t see your father, stepmother or Mahina around. It’s only you and me, don’t worry.”
Hokuto tightened his grip to the broom he’s holding with the mention of his family, but he admitted Shime’s presence helped him relax a bit. He realized it really has been a while since they last met each other. When he thought he would’ve forgotten how Shime looked, it turns out his mind and heart still remembers that delicate face with big doe eyes, long lashes and plump red lips clearly. The face of Shimekake Ryuya, the eldest son of the Shimekake family.
The Shimekakes are also a renowned gifted family like the Oizumis, and both families have been connected with each other as long as Hokuto knew. One of his earliest memories were the ones when he played together with Shime during his childhood, long before his mother’s passing. They were separated after Lady Chisako entered the household, but Shime always tries to find a way to reach him, which he was very grateful for. But since Shime got busied by his studies and duty as the heir to the Shimekake family, they rarely got in touch as much as before. The tiny Shime he used to know now had blossomed into a fine young man, still retaining his trademark delicate face and warm smile.
Both of them grew up together but Hokuto felt like he was behind Shime in almost everything. He glanced down, his eyes accidentally saw his own reflection on the puddle of water below them.
A reflection he wished he didn’t need to see.
On the muddy water’s reflective surface was a skinny young man with droopy and lifeless asymmetrical eyes. His unkempt hair has grown long enough to reach down his shoulders, with the bangs covering some of his face. Hollow cheeks and thick eyebags had made their way to his face as well. The beauty mark above his lips looked more like dirt rather than beauty mark itself, and the freckles around his nose didn’t help either. He did clean himself right before sweeping the garden, but soon got dirt over his old and threadbare kimono again.
And above all of those imperfections, he disliked the scar on his right cheek most. The burn scars, stretching long from under his temple down to his jaws, given by his stepmother to remind him of his place. He also had some other scars across his body, but that particular one on his face was the only one he couldn’t hide perfectly, and is still visible even when he tried using his long bangs to cover it.
“Hokuto?” Shime’s voice brought him to consciousness after his short daydreaming.
“Y-yes. Sorry, I was spacing out…”
“Aren’t you probably too tired from working all day?” Shime said. “We shall sit somewhere, I miss talking with you.”
“I would love to,” Hokuto replied weakly. “But I still have work to do. Don’t you also have things to do? I mean—not that I don’t want to talk to you… it’s just… I don’t want to disturb you. Your father is visiting too, it must be an important business, is it?”
Shime giggled. “You really haven’t changed a bit, have you? Overexplaining yourself when you don’t really have to.”
“It-it’s not like that,” Hokuto felt his cheeks reddening.
“But I understand. My bad, I was the one disturbing your work. I’m actually here because I just want to see you. Coincidentally my dad has some business with your father today, and he let me join him.”
“No, no, it’s not your fault… Maybe we can meet after I finish sweeping?”
“Great! See you later in our usual spot, then?”
“Understood.”
As Shime’s small figure vanishes into the house, Hokuto feels his heart getting heavy again. Shime was like his last defense from his family, even when the person himself can’t really do anything besides lending his shoulder for Hokuto to cry on. He was the only one treating Hokuto as part of the family, not just a lowly servant. Shime once tried to get his father to do something with the abuse Hokuto’s receiving, unfortunately to no avail, and the abuse got worse since. Even though they seldom met these days, meetings with Shime are probably one of the events he looked forward to the most, like a flicker of hope in his dimmed world.
Hokuto continued sweeping the garden when he accidentally heard two nearby servants talking.
“... about Lord Shimekake’s visit today, I wonder what’s the matter this time?”
“It must be about the marriage offer, isn't it? I mean, Ryuya-sama is here too.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Now that I remember, I saw them measuring Mahina-sama’s size and ordering some sets of new kimonos for her the other day.”
“Oh, the offer wasn’t for Hokuto-sama? I thought he’s closer to Ryuya-sama, since they’ve been together since childhood.”
“Judging from their father’s attitude, it might not be for him but for Mahina-sama instead, now that she’s eligible.”
“How unfortunate, isn’t Hokuto-sama already long past that age? Yet he still receives no offers… His chances are slim, right?”
The two servants soon got reprimanded by the head maid. They were dismissed and are now out of his sight, but what they said before etched perfectly onto Hokuto’s mind. It’s bright daylight, but for a moment he felt like his whole body had suddenly frozen.
The servants were right. He knew that fact very well, more than anyone else.
Someone as beautiful, smart and noble as Shimekake Ryuya deserves an equally elegant spouse, not a lowly uneducated servant with a disgusting scar who’s already past his prime age. His half-sister is clearly a far better candidate to be Shime’s fiancé.
And at this point Hokuto knew he’ll probably have to settle with carrying his misery alone the rest of his life.
.
.
.
“Otsukare,” Shime greeted him when he reached their ‘usual spot’, a small gazebo behind the Oizumis’ residence.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting.”
“It’s okay. More than that, you look tired. Come have a seat, I brought sweets for you.”
“Thank you, that’s very nice of you…”
Hokuto joined the young man inside the gazebo and sat beside him. The moment he sat down, nostalgic memories soon came to mind. This was the place where they spent a lot of their childhood. The place where Shime first found Hokuto crying on the corner, hiding from his family, the scar still freshly burning his right cheek at that time. The other Oizumis rarely visit this area, so both of them agreed to make this place as their secret base.
Shime opened the box of traditional sweets full of Hokuto’s favorites. “I’m sorry I didn’t buy those trendier western sweets and just went with the usual. I don't really have the time these days… Maybe next time I’ll ask my sister to buy it since she’s more well-versed in this kind of stuff.”
“No, no, you don’t have to, really. I’m already happy with these.”
A comfortable silence fell as both enjoyed eating the sweets.
“I wish we could spend time like this forever,” Shime broke their silence. “You and me, without having to worry about a single thing in the world.”
Oh, how Hokuto wished they could too.
“... you know we can’t.”
He knew it more than anyone else, it was engraved in his mind since day one of becoming a servant in his own house.
“I want to help you.”
“You’re always helping me. And I’m very grateful for that, Shime.”
“I’m far from powerful, but I want to give you strength.”
“... thank you.”
Shime is a kind and nice person who just wants the best for his surroundings. Even for a lowly servant like him. A young and kind nobleman like Shime is destined for far better opportunities, rather than staying behind with him.
Hokuto understands well that they’re now worlds apart and he probably could never reach Shime again.
.
.
.
Shime came over again a few days after his last visit. He’s wearing a light grey western suit, making Hokuto wonder what kind of business he has to visit their residence in such nice attire. He looked very good in them, giving a more masculine look different from his delicate image Hokuto had in mind.
Except that Shime doesn’t look as warm as usual.
He greeted Hokuto at the front gate, gave some refreshment sweets for him and the other servants, said that he has some business with Lord Oizumi again, and went inside the house rather quickly. Hokuto didn’t dare to ask any further as Shime still smiled at him, but he felt like that smile was a bit forced.
Hokuto got the answer he needed when the head maid suddenly called him, saying his father needed him to join the family in the receiving room. The first thing he noticed was how the air in the room felt so quiet without a single person in that room speaking. After bowing towards his father, stepmother, Mahina and Shime, he took a seat in the corner back of the room. He also noticed Shime immediately looked down the moment their eyes accidentally met.
“Today’s discussion,” Lord Oizumi breaks the silence. “Will regard the matters of this family’s future. And therefore, I think you should listen to this too, Hokuto.”
Hokuto gulped with the mention of his name.
“After long discussions and consideration, I decided we will welcome Ryuya-kun to this family to continue both our families’ legacy. He will carry on the Oizumi name, and the one to become his spouse…”
It felt like time was moving so slow he could hear his own heartbeat.
“... will be you, Mahina.”
He knew it. From when he accidentally heard those two servants’ talk. No, even before that, he expected this already. Why was he here again? Was it another one of Lady Chisako’s ploy to make him suffer? Deep inside his heart, his hopeful self wished for the same thing as Shime, to spend time together with him without having to worry about anything else. He wished he’ll be wed to Shime, and maybe Shime will take him far away from here, where he could finally be free of the invisible chains confining him to this place.
He knows that dream won’t come true, and thought of himself as stupid for still wishing the same thing.
But still, the truth hurts nonetheless.
“And you, Hokuto,” his father continued his sentence with the same piercing tone of speech, not even giving him time to process everything. “You are going to the Kyomoto household. You’ll marry the head of the family, Kyomoto Taiga-dono.”
Shime immediately lifted his head in shock. This is probably also his first time hearing it.
“Wow! Isn’t that great news, Onii-sama? They are a powerful and influential family! How lucky you are!” Mahina clapped her hands as if her brother’s fate, or rather misfortune, was the most amusing thing for her.
Kyomoto Taiga, not an unfamiliar name. He heard some servants talk about the Kyomotos more than once, about their wealth or their powerful gifts. Hokuto never knew his face, he only heard about the young lord being both handsome and powerful, but if he remembered correctly, he also heard stuff about the young lord’s former fiancés.
Kyomoto Taiga is the captain of one of the units in the imperial army. According to the rumors, he is a strong yet brute and heartless man. It is said those who were engaged to him usually never lasted longer than a week, the longest one only three weeks. They always ended up leaving or broke off the engagement. And now Hokuto is assigned to be that man’s fiancé without them asking for his consent beforehand.
“Consider this a good offer, will you? It’s impolite for us to refuse this offer, especially coming from such a high-ranking family as the Kyomotos,” Lady Chisako added. “Be grateful someone still gave you an offer, despite your age or lack of a gift.”
She didn’t need to emphasize that last part of the sentence, really. It felt like a nail to his coffin. Shime looked at him again, this time his eyes full of concern, while Mahina had a victory smile plastered on her face.
“Pack your things. You are going to the Kyomoto residence in three days from now. The servants will prepare a kimono for you, make sure you wear that one on your departure day,” his father said with his usual stern tone, giving him no chance to argue.
“...I understand.”
Hokuto left the room as soon as he was dismissed, throwing away his wishful thinking that maybe, just maybe, one of the people in that room would prevent him from leaving.
.
.
.
Days and nights had passed by so quickly that before Hokuto realized, it was finally the night before his scheduled departure date. He did nothing in particular for preparations, still doing his chores and packed the little belongings he had.
Shime hasn’t visited nor sent any letters to him. He was surely busy with his own duties, now that he’s going to marry Mahina. Hokuto thought of himself as foolish for hoping that Shime would at least contact him using any means possible, but who is he to hope on a person who’s not going to be there anymore for him?
He should probably also remind himself that Shime was never his to begin with, he had no rights whatsoever to claim that position just because he had known Shime for the longest.
When he went back to his room that night, he found a kimono folded and put beside his small dresser. It was light gray colored with some small bird patterns, far better and gorgeous than the rags he wears daily. His father and stepmother probably realized that sending him to the Kyomotos in his usual tattered kimonos will certainly damage their reputation.
The kimono was beautiful, reminiscing him of the kimonos his mother used to wear. He remembers his mother looked very pretty in it, and little Hokuto used to hope that he could be as pretty as her. He did feel sorry for his little self for turning into this useless unpretty creature, undeserving of anyone’s kindness. Surely, Lord Kyomoto too will be disgusted when he sees him tomorrow, even with him wearing such a gorgeous kimono, right?
The light gray kimono was probably the only luxurious thing in the room. The little stuff he owned were nowhere near that kimono’s level. His everyday wear and some necessities were the only ones inside the furoshiki he had packed up, no other personal trinkets or such.
Those kinds of stuff he used to own had been thrown away, after all. Including the ones his mother gave him. The scene when the culprit, none other than Lady Chisako, threw away his belongings still lingers clearly in his mind. His mom’s fine kimonos, accessories, heirlooms right behind for him, all gone in one night as his stepmother ordered the servants to burn those.
All that’s right were burnt scars on his arm and his right cheek that he got when he recklessly tried to salvage the last remaining bits of his mother’s keepsakes.
And a small hairpin with star-shaped ornaments he managed to save from the fire, which he’s holding now.
He glanced at the hairpin before looking outside his room’s window. The skies were clear without any single clouds or stars.
The hairpin… stars…
He remembered his mom loved stargazing. A lot of her belongings were star-shaped, including the hairpin. She considered the stars as her companions during long nights that will accompany her until a new dawn rises. When you feel lonely, remember that the stars will always be there for you, his mom used to say. Looking at the stars, finding constellations and asterisms hidden amongst them were one of her preferred ways of spending time with her son. Hokuto almost memorized by heart every story his mom told him about those stars, the asterisms that seemed randomly placed in the sky, but became meaningful with every string pulled to tie them together and turn them into constellations.
Her favorite asterism was the Big Dipper.
It was the seven-star asterism in the Ursa Major constellation. People use it as a path navigator, as it always points to the North Star, lighting the way for lost travelers. It symbolizes the hopes that lost ones search for, wishing that they will eventually find their way back home.
And thus ‘Hokuto’ was born, named after his mom’s favorite asterism.
He always questioned himself whether he actually provided the ‘hope’ other people needed, because right now it feels like he himself is the one needing that hope instead.
But even tonight, the stars aren’t here to accompany me, let alone give me hope…
That night, Hokuto cried himself to sleep for the first time in years.
.
.
.
“It’s gone… all of it… my mom’s kimonos… her accessories…”
“Hokuto-sama, I’m very sorry… I didn’t know this happened when I was out grocery shopping.”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, Kochi… it’s certainly Chisako-san’s doing! She always wishes I was gone… I’m going to talk to her.”
“Wait, Hokuto-sama! You don’t know what will she do if—”
“I’ll be okay! If anything happens, I’ll tell Father.”
He knows his stepmother dislikes his whole existence, but to think that she would do as he hoped for if he talks to her nicely, Hokuto was surely too naive at that time. Kochi, one of the servants working in the Oizumi household had even warned him beforehand, but he chose to ignore it. His mom’s belongings and heirlooms were more important that time.
And so he rushed to his stepmother’s place, confident that everything will be alright. If anything turned worse, he’s sure his father will do something… right?
.
.
.
“Are you saying I’m a thief? How rude.”
It really didn’t work as he had hoped for. Hokuto didn’t even outright accuse her, only politely asking about his mom’s belongings and whether Lady Chisako had seen them.
“I was about to move your mom’s belongings to the storage room to make some space, since we didn’t need them anymore. I do plan to tell you afterwards, but this accusation is what I got instead?” the lady said, faking her sad speaking tone.
“It’s not like that—”
He felt his body getting pushed, powerful enough to make him fall to the wooden floor, wounding his knees and elbows. He also accidentally dropped his mom’s star-shaped hairpin he usually carries everywhere as a good luck charm.
“Hm? What’s this?” Lady Chisako picked up the hairpin.
“Wait! Please give it back!” Hokuto tried his best to stand up and reach the hairpin his stepmother was holding, before being pushed again, this time harder than the first one it made him bump to the pillar behind him. When he raised his head, he could see his stepmother giving him an evil grin, the same grin she usually puts up whenever she’s about to do something to him.
“I think I’ve changed my mind.”
Lady Chisako left the room and walked her way to the residence’s backyard, bringing the hairpin with her. Hokuto trailed behind, pleading more than once for her to return the hairpin. And more than once too he got shoved away by his stepmother.
“Please, that’s my mom’s… I need it…”
“Be quiet! You need to learn your lesson!”
When they reached the backyard, he could see his mom’s belongings he’s been searching for were laid on the ground haphazardly, some of the kimonos even got stained by dirt. Well, that didn’t matter anymore, all he needed was just the stuff safe and sound, he can wash the kimonos later, he can repolish his mom’s jewelries too—
“Burn it. All of them.”
“No… you can’t do that…!” Hokuto’s face turned pale in mere seconds after he heard Lady Chisako’s orders for the servants. He saw the servants also exchange looks with each other, before they looked at him with pitiful eyes.
“But, Oku-sama…” one of them tried to speak up, before being cut by the lady herself.
“Are my instructions not clear enough!?” she raised her voice, and soon the servants did as they were told. Hokuto tried meddling between them, to no avail as Lady Chisako had also ordered some of the guards to restrain him. And so he could only helplessly watch his mom’s belongings and heirlooms being swallowed by the fire in just mere minutes.
“... why?” is the only word that could come out of his mouth between his sobs. The guards had released their grip on him, his body dropped to the ground as what he just saw had taken a huge toll on him.
“Why, you asked? This is what you got for having such nerves to accuse me, you son of a filthy thief!” Lady Chisako snapped, her anger had made her slap Hokuto with the same star-shaped hairpin she took from him earlier.
“Oku-sama, please don’t! Hokuto-sama is hurting!”
It was Kochi. Since Hokuto was gone from his sight, he immediately rushed towards the backyard after hearing the ruckus. The older servant boy was now holding Hokuto tight in his arms, trying to protect the latter from getting slapped again.
“Silence! Who do you think you are, servant!?”
“But this is too cruel for Hokuto-sama!”
The lady ignored Kochi’s plea and proceeded to raise the hairpin high up in the air.
“You won’t need this either.”
“No—”
Hokuto didn’t really remember the details of what happened next, his sight all blurry from his own tears. But his body unfortunately does. His body clearly remembers the scorching pain from trying to save the hairpin Lady Chisako had thrown into the fire. His body recognized Kochi’s hands pulling him back to prevent him from getting burned any further. His hands felt the steel of the burned hairpin stinging his skin, but out of anything the pain in his heart was probably the one that hurts the most.
He passed out in Kochi’s arms not long after. His mind was filled with too much emotion, he couldn’t think about anything else aside from the hairpin, even though it was now permanently damaged from the fire.
.
.
.
Hokuto woke up with his forehead sweating and his mouth gasping for breath.
It was a bad dream. The third time this week alone. He had no idea why he’s been getting those, especially the ones about bad stuff that happened in his past. Ever since that incident he did get those nightmares on a monthly basis, but recently it almost turned into a daily one, with the most recent being more intense than the previous one. Before he realized, his hands had touched the burn scar on his right cheek, a habit he unconsciously developed whenever his mind thought of that incident. Honestly, if it wasn’t because of Kochi pulling him away from the fire, the scar would probably be bigger than it already is.
Kochi Yugo… the older servant boy got fired right after he defended Hokuto from Lady Chisako. Aside from Shime, he was the person who’s always by Hokuto’s side, taking care of him when no one else does. Kochi wasn’t usually the type to defy his master like that, he must have tried so hard to muster all that courage. Hokuto often wondered how he is doing right now, is he doing well? Has he found another job? Kochi is hard-working and kind, and wherever he is now, Hokuto hopes he is doing better than what the Oizumi household could offer.
Now that he thought of it, he’ll be leaving this house too.
When he looked around, he noticed a train ticket and a paper note with some kind of a map scribbled down on its surface lying down just below the door. Maybe one of the servants had slipped them through the gaps of his room’s door. So he was expected to go by himself to Lord Kyomoto’s residence, he thinks. Noble children going to their fiancé’s place would usually be escorted by their chauffeurs, but who is he to hope for the same treatment? Someone like him should’ve been grateful he didn’t have to go by foot.
After tidying up his room and checking the corners for any items left behind—which didn’t really matter since he doesn’t have that many belongings to begin with—Hokuto glanced at his room for the last time. It used to be a small storage room, turned into his “bedroom” when Lady Chisako ordered him to move out from his previous room. He doubted whether he’ll be getting a more spacious room in the Kyomoto residence, but again, who is he to hope for better living conditions? He’s just a lowly servant who should just accept anything he’s given, even if it turns out Lord Kyomoto only provides a space in the stables for him.
He proceeded with wearing the fancy kimono his father had given to him the day before, combing his unruly hair to be somewhat presentable, and making sure his scar was covered enough. His eyes then darted from the mirror to the star-shaped hairpin, sitting nicely on top of his other stuff. He took the hairpin, his mom’s face when she gave it to him still lingers as clear as the sky, never once escaping from his mind. Please, give me strength today too, he whispered, clenching tight on the hairpin, damaged but still beautiful, before keeping it inside his obi instead of wearing it on his hair. Despite having rather long hair, Hokuto never once wore it, thinking such a beautiful hairpin didn’t suit him at all. The people in the Kyomoto household would surely be startled too if he shows up with his hair tied up and his scar exposed for the world to see.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath once more before finally leaving the room and the house, already thinking about the worst scenarios that could happen that day. As expected, no one was there to see him off, not even the servants. Why would someone like you need a send-off? His stepmother most likely would say something like that.
And with it Hokuto bowed in front of the gates, all the bad memories from this house flashed by as he silently said goodbye for the last time to the place he can’t even call his home.
.
.
.
The trip to the Kyomoto residence took way longer than Hokuto had originally expected. From the map he was given, he kind of suspected the young lord’s residence to be located quite far from town, but he never thought ‘far from town’ means in the middle of a small forest behind the town’s outermost district. The train could only reach the last station a few kilometers from the residence, so Hokuto continued the rest of his journey by foot. Well, at least all those chores and running around the Oizumi residence did give him some leg training.
The Kyomoto residence wasn’t as big as the Oizumis’ or the Shimekakes’ he once visited as a child, but it looks warm and cozy from the outside. The gates were decorated with foliage, even the lamp post had some intricate carvings on it. The owner of this house must be a very artistic person, he thinks. Even though the house itself wasn’t that big, Hokuto could already imagine how troublesome it would be should he get ordered to clean this house up to the tiny corners due to its decorations.
He was about to knock on the door before a young man showed up from behind the bushes.
“Oh! A guest! Please wait a second,” the man jogged towards the gate and opened it. Now that the gates are opened, Hokuto could see his face clearly. The man is maybe around the same age and is a few centimeters taller than him, his face smiling widely. It seems like he is one of the servants in this house, but with the contrast between him and Hokuto’s gloomy and unkempt appearance, Hokuto felt like he’s the one who should be serving the man instead. The young man’s face also looks like a mix of Japanese and foreigner, which is kind of a rare sight.
“May I ask who you might be?” the man politely asked.
“A-ah,” for a moment Hokuto got startled by the greeting, something he wasn’t used to as the people back in his old house had always treated him without such politeness.
“I’m sorry I came without earlier notice. My name is Oizumi Hokuto, I’m here for the marriage arrangement with Kyomoto Taiga-sama.” His tongue felt weird saying his father’s surname in front of his own name. He hasn’t been using that surname to refer to himself in a very long time, was it even okay for him to use it now that he’s been kicked out of the family?
“Oh! Oizumi Hokuto-sama! We’ve been waiting for you!” the young man clapped his hands cheerfully. “Please come in, make yourself at home! My name is Jesse, I work as the gardener of this residence, but sometimes I’m also helping Haruna-san with house chores. Haruna-san is the head servant here, by the way.”
“Ah, I’m so sorry! I talked too much,” the man, Jesse, immediately bowed when he noticed Hokuto wasn’t reacting to his friendly greeting.
“Jesse! Didn’t I tell you not to scare our guests!?” from the house’s front door, suddenly a middle-aged woman with short hair shouted at the young servant. She radiates a stern aura but also tender and kind at the same time, like a motherly presence.
“I’m deeply sorry, Sir. My name is Haruna, I’m the head servant of the Kyomoto residence. Please forgive our Jesse here, he sometimes gets too friendly with guests,” the woman bowed while pushing Jesse’s back to follow her gesture. “You too, Jesse, apologize to our new guest!”
“No, no, please don’t be, I’m the wrong one here…” Hokuto sheepishly bowed back, cursing himself for making others feel bad in their first meeting.
“You must be Oizumi Hokuto-sama. We’ve heard a lot about you. Please come in, Bocchan is waiting for you in his study,” the head servant lady quickly changed her tone into a warmer one, before raising her voice again to order Jesse to help carry Hokuto’s belongings. Hokuto heard Jesse clicking his tongue in annoyance, but the latter then silently giggled and placed his finger in front of his mouth, gesturing to Hokuto to not report him to Haruna-san. Hokuto only nodded lightly in reply.
It was… different. How Jesse and Haruna-san behaved in front of him was different from what he knew all this time, as a fellow servant. Both servants clearly are proud of their workplace from the way they spoke fondly of their professions, Jesse was even more carefree as to click his tongue in front of his superior. If Hokuto did the same thing back in the Oizumi residence, he surely would’ve gotten beatings and punishments from his stepmother.
Haruna-san then guided him towards two hallways while introducing him to some of the rooms they passed by. She also told him besides the young lord, there are three servants working here; Haruna-san herself, Jesse and a chauffeur named Shintaro, who’s currently out for chores. According to her, Lord Kyomoto prefers quiet and peaceful places far from the crowds, hence his residence is located in this area and he only hired three servants.
They finally arrived at Lord Kyomoto’s study. Jesse excused himself as he was tasked with carrying Hokuto’s belongings to his soon-to-be bedroom. Hokuto immediately kneeled down beside Haruna-san right after he entered the room, a not-so-big one but still more spacious than his room back in the Oizumi residence. He noticed the room was decorated with a lot of beautiful paintings, ranging from small to big frames. Maybe the master of this house is indeed an artistic person.
Speaking of which, his eyes finally caught sight of the said master, sitting behind his study table, looking as beautiful as the paintings in the room.
Lord Kyomoto Taiga, the so-called powerful and influential young lord of this household.
He is indeed… beautiful. As beautiful as what the rumors said about him. Clear and sparkling round brown eyes decorated with long lashes, a stark contrast to Hokuto’s dull and plain asymmetrical black eyes. Pink and plump lips, delicate fingers very different from Hokuto’s chapped ones, a result of all the chores he was forced to do. The young lord’s small face is framed by long brown fringes, the dark kimono he’s wearing further emphasizes his pale smooth skin, unlike Hokuto’s which were covered with scars. And with the picturesque view from the window, it was as if he was part of a painting himself.
He did imagine a different image of Lord Kyomoto in his mind, as it is said the young lord was scary, brute and heartless. Hokuto himself is often considered too skinny for his height, but he never thought the young lord would be someone with an even smaller build. He heard about Lord Kyomoto being slightly older than him, but the young lord’s appearance alone makes him look a lot younger. How can someone who looks so fragile be labelled as brute and heartless? Even so, Lord Kyomoto still exerts a domineering air around him despite seemingly being the shorter one out of the two. Hokuto never saw someone looking as grand and distinguished as him just by sitting and doing practically nothing.
“I’m very pleased to meet you. My name is Oizumi Hokuto. I humbly ask for your favor with my stay here,” he deeply bowed. Again, saying his father’s surname felt like a poison to his mouth.
No answers from the young lord, he’s still busy with the paper in front of him. Hokuto kept his head low, just like how he would always do back in the Oizumi residence. He is used to this. Being ignored, getting harsh words in return despite being careful with everything he says and does. Who is he to expect a different treatment, especially from someone like Lord Kyomoto?
The young lord sighed a few seconds later. He put down his pen a bit too hard that it caused a slight slamming noise. Hokuto flinched, already thinking about the worst case should the lord get angry just by seeing his face.
“How long are you planning to stay like that?”
“M-my apologies,” Hokuto bowed deeper.
“I didn’t ask for your apology. Raise your head,” Lord Kyomoto said. His tone was quite sharp, but Hokuto somehow didn’t feel any demeaning intentions in his words. It was different from his father’s usual stern tone or Lady Chisako’s imperative one. Hokuto did exactly as he’s told, his eyes finally met with the young lord’s eyes for the first time. The more he stared into Lord Kyomoto’s mesmerizing eyes, the more he could get lost in them.
But he knew too well he mustn't get carried away with the lord’s appearance. This man is the same man that chased away his fiancés within a matter of weeks. Hokuto would probably get the same ending, except that he doesn’t have a home to return to. He’ll practically be homeless once Lord Kyomoto kicks him out of his residence. The Oizumis certainly won’t pick up anyone they had thrown away.
“Do you always hide your face like that?” Lord Kyomoto asked.
“E-eh?” Hokuto was startled by the sudden mention of his face that he touched his cheeks out of habit. “I’m s-sorry—”
The young lord sighed again. “I’m just asking. I’m not demanding you to apologize.”
Hokuto only stayed quiet, not sure what to say.
“So you’re not going to answer me?” Lord Kyomoto asked again when Hokuto didn’t give him the answer he wanted. To be honest, he had no idea how he should reply. He’s always used to replying with ‘sorry’ or ‘I apologize’, like it rolls naturally from his tongue.
“I… I…” the young lord still patiently waited for his answer, but in the end he could only lower his head back.
“If you can’t answer me, then I’m sorry that I need to do this to you.”
Lord Kyomoto suddenly rose up from his seat, walked closer towards Hokuto and then stopped right in front of him, kneeling down so they are now at the same eye level.
Without any warning, he cupped Hokuto’s face with his hands and pushed aside the bangs that covered half of his face. Hokuto felt his whole body just froze at that very moment, his heartbeat racing faster than usual, too shocked from the sudden movement.
Ah… the scar he tried to hide before coming here, the scar he purposely hid so Lord Kyomoto can’t see how grotesque it is, is now laid bare in front of the young lord without anything covering it. Haruna-san beside him also got surprised when she saw his scar. Soon both of them will probably also discover the other scars on Hokuto’s arms or body.
It’s over…
Lord Kyomoto is clearly disgusted with him now. It probably won’t take a week or even a day for him to throw Hokuto out of his house to the streets.
“So it’s just a scar, huh. I thought you were hiding some kind of dangerous rune or spell on your face for you to keep such a firm stance, going as far as not even answering my simple question. One of my former fiancés came with the intention of taking down the Kyomoto family, she had one such thing tattooed on her nape that I had to send her away.”
It’s just a scar.
Right, for him, it’s just a scar. For Hokuto, it’s a curse planted on his body and will remain that way for the rest of his life, always reminding him of his place, cursing him into a life of eternal loneliness and misery.
“Bocchan, what are you doing!?” Haruna-san immediately moved over to her master’s side, trying to get him back to his senses.
“I need to do this, Haruna-san. You know what happened last time when we kept that girl from the Yamashiro family. We almost lost the house, Jesse and Shintaro almost lost an arm each, even you almost lost your life. This is for our own safety.”
“But still, you’re being rude to Hokuto-sama—oh, no, no, Hokuto-sama!? What happened? Are you okay!?”
Hokuto only realized tears had fallen from his eyes after hearing Haruna-san's cry of panic. The middle-aged lady moved back to Hokuto’s side, trying to check on his condition, while Lord Kyomoto had also released the grip on his face after noticing his tears.
He understands Lord Kyomoto is just doing what’s necessary to protect his and his servants’ wellbeing, especially after experiencing such an unpleasant incident. Hokuto was used to being belittled and humiliated, Mahina often does that to him. He’s also used to being rejected even before he had the chance to properly explain himself. But doing this on their first meeting, moreover on the occasion where they would determine one’s fate for the rest of their life… Hokuto felt like his scar got reburned and salt added on top of it.
He hates me now… and probably also disgusted… it’s really over… I’m going to be thrown away to the streets…
“I… I… I-I’m s-sorry…” was the only thing he could say with his voice shaky from his sobbing. He lowered down his head, didn’t even dare to look at Lord Kyomoto’s face.
“I’m s-sorry… I-I’m so sorry.”
The young lord sighed again for the third time. He took a step back, giving Hokuto some space. Haruna-san was still by his side, trying to comfort him even though she didn’t know how to; she just patted his back instead. Lord Kyomoto didn’t say a thing after that, he waited for Hokuto to calm down before he continued his speech.
“I just need to get some things clear, a precaution before letting you inside my house. There have been some unwanted things happening in the past, so I need to check on whoever enters my house. Do understand that.”
Hokuto nodded in compliance, feeling small with every word the young lord said.
“Since you’ve introduced yourself, let me do the same too. My name is Kyomoto Taiga, I’m currently the head of this family. When you’re here, you do as I say. If I tell you to get out of my sight, then you go away from my sight. I hate secrecy and dishonesty, so don’t you dare plot anything behind my back.”
“... I understand.”
“I don’t plan to restrict you here, but if you dare disobey me or lay a hand on my servants, then I won’t hesitate to do any means necessary to remove you from this house. Aside from that, you’re free to do anything you like.”
“I won’t do anything like that...”
“Good. You may rest now. Jesse probably has finished preparing your room, Haruna-san will lead you there,” Lord Kyomoto dismissed him as soon as he finished speaking.
.
.
.
The room Lord Kyomoto had assigned him to was far more spacious than his old “room”, which made Hokuto quite surprised that he got treated as a real guest for the first time. There isn't much furniture inside, but it seems it was arranged in a way that still leaves some space for the owner to move freely, not too stuffy. There is a futon that looks fluffy and soft, a wide table, a large wardrobe more than enough to place all of his belongings, a small dresser slightly bigger than what he had back in his old house, a partition for him to change clothes, and a huge mirror still covered with a cloth to avoid dust.
It seems like Lord Kyomoto has an interest in paintings. Hokuto saw at least one on display in each room, varying from small to big. This room was no exception either. He saw a small framed canvas with a sunflower painted on it sitting nicely on the wide table. Speaking of which, he did see the young lord was in the middle of drawing something when he arrived before. Did Lord Kyomoto also paint this sunflower by himself too? That wasn’t surprising, judging from the carvings on that lamp post in his front yard.
Such a man who appreciates beauty and artistry above anything, surely won’t even bat an eye on an ugly creature like Hokuto.
“Hokuto-sama, I deeply apologize for Bocchan’s attitude earlier,” he got startled a little with Haruna-san’s voice, whom he thought was gone already. As the head servant lady bowed in front of him, the scene from when he was greeted by Jesse earlier replayed in his head. Again, this all felt weird for him, as it was usually the opposite.
“No, he didn’t do anything wrong… it’s me who should be apologizing instead for acting so shamefully in this important first meeting…”
“You’re too kind, Hokuto-sama…”
Haruna-san excused herself and let him have his private time, but before she left the room, she looked at him for one last time with a weak smile.
“Hokuto-sama… you are surely aware of the rumors surrounding Bocchan. Once again, I’m very sorry you had to experience such a thing in your first meeting with him. I know it’s rude of me to demand this, but I would be grateful if you could give him a chance… because he is actually a kind man…”
Hokuto was quite taken aback with her words that he couldn't think of a proper reply. She didn’t sound like she was lying, but were the rumors about Lord Kyomoto’s former fiancés truly baseless? Should he believe in Haruna-san’s words? Realistically speaking, it’s not like he has any choice. If anything, it’s the other way around, Lord Kyomoto is the one who has a choice to give or not to give him a chance. Hokuto’s only choice is to endure it all, just like how he did back in the Oizumi household. His feelings are never that important anyways.
As Haruna-san leaves the room, Hokuto is now alone again with his thoughts. Maybe it’s better to rest his body after a long journey. He tried laying back on the futon prepared for him, it’s been a long time since he slept on such a luxurious one. The soft texture made his eyes heavy, he felt like he could just sleep right away and forget everything.
Oh, how he wished it was that simple.
Even in the comfortable futon, he still couldn’t put his mind to rest. He never had such a luxury to ever truly rest. His mind can’t help but wonder through every possible outcome of his stay in the Kyomoto household. Maybe this will be the last time he gets treated nicely by other people. Maybe tonight will be the last night he could ever sleep in such a high-grade futon. Maybe tonight will be the last night he has a roof over his head.
He might’ve been spared today, but who knows what the young lord might do next if he makes a scene like earlier again.
.
.
.
“Are you serious!?”
It was Lord Shimekake who came the next day to the Oizumi household after Mahina and Shime’s engagement announcement. The lord furiously slammed the door to Lord Oizumi’s workroom. Hokuto, who happened to be sweeping nearby, accidentally heard the conversation. He knew it was impolite for him to eavesdrop, but it’s not like he can leave right away, since that area still needs to be cleaned. It was also quite unusual, he never saw Lord Shimekake being that abrasive before it piqued his curiosity as well.
“What’s the matter?”
“This is not what we agreed on!”
“And?”
“We agreed on Ryuya and Mahina’s engagement, and you promised you’ll wed Hokuto to my youngest daughter! So why are you now handing him to the Kyomoto family!?”
“Oh, that one. The Kyomotos had sent us a marriage proposal. You can take him when they throw him away. He won’t last that long in that residence.”
“Do you not know your own son’s worth!? Hokuto is born with the blood of the Matsumura family! You know that family has a strong, exceptional gift!”
Hokuto unconsciously raised his head with the mention of his mom’s family. Indeed, he once heard about his mom possessing a rare gift, but she rarely uses it, since she didn’t want to be too dependent on her abilities. He believed that his father married his mom because of that same gift, and Lord Oizumi surely hoped his son would also inherit it.
Too bad fate said otherwise.
“His mother is indeed part of the Matsumura family, but that kid doesn’t have any gift. He is useless to me and this family.”
“Have you ever considered that your son may have a hidden potential waiting to be discovered? Or maybe consider the possibility that his offspring may inherit the Matsumura family’s gift!?”
“I’ve wasted my time enough for years waiting for him to show that ‘potential’ you mentioned, only for him to disappoint me.”
His father knew it, he himself also learned it the hard way that his father had long lost his hopes in him. But hearing it directly from his father’s mouth felt like a stab to his already fragile heart, smashing it to pieces.
“Do you ever think about what will happen if a descendant of that family falls into the hands of the Kyomotos!? If the Kyomotos get more powerful, our positions will be in danger!”
“Kyomoto Taiga-dono will surely also throw Hokuto away once he finds out that kid has no gift. When that happens, why don’t you go ahead and take Hokuto into your family, if you’re so desperate for that Matsumura blood? That kid probably will be crying happily and thanking you for picking him up like a stray puppy.”
“Tch! You’re insane for abandoning him!”
“He has proven to me that he’s no use to the Oizumi family. I don’t need a kid that can’t bring anything to the plate.”
“I see. So, do we agree that the Oizumi family will have no say in Hokuto’s future from now on?”
“Yes, he’s no longer my responsibility once he goes to the Kyomoto household.”
He should’ve left that area sooner. Hokuto knew that whatever remark his father said about him, will always be a hurtful one. He should’ve known better, but why is he still hoping that he will still be accepted into the family regardless? Was he too naive and immature? He might’ve turned into an adult, even considered too old to get married, but he still feels like a child wanting to get his parents’ attention. Maybe deep down, he just wants to be loved as he is, without having to prove himself worthy of anything. He often wondered what if he was born to a different family, would it be different? It doesn’t matter if he wasn’t born to an elite family, he was fine with anything as long as he has a loving one.
Maybe indeed, he’s just a child wanting a place to call home.
.
.
.
Hokuto was sweating again when he woke up, but this time, he also felt his eyes wet and puffy. He must’ve cried in his sleep, he thought. Another bad dream, the fourth time… the dream was a pretty recent happening compared to the ones before. It wasn’t as intense as the previous one, but it was enough to disturb his sleep.
For a moment he was confused with his surroundings, until he remembered everything from yesterday. He’s not living in that house anymore, he’s been given to the Kyomoto family. He had to admit, the futon was so soft that he really had a good rest for the first time in years. The warm sunlight from the big window was the first thing that greeted him, something he couldn’t see often back in his old room in the Oizumi residence. The view outside wasn’t something grand, just a small garden with violet flowers, but it was arranged beautifully in a way that just by seeing it gives him a peace of mind, a little break from the nightmares he had.
Even though his mind is quite refreshed, his father’s words kept repeating in his head. Kyomoto Taiga will surely throw him away once the young lord finds out he has no gift.
He took a deep breath. He’s still not ready to tell the truth to Lord Kyomoto, but sooner or later he’ll have to be ready. If the young lord isn’t going to make the engagement official, maybe Hokuto should at least make himself useful in this residence as a servant, or else he wouldn’t have any reason to stay. His formal education stopped early ever since he was forced into servitude, so when it comes to the young lord’s job, he won’t be much of a help. If anything, he would only bring more shame to the young lord. A noble family head’s spouse normally spends their days practicing flower arrangements or tea ceremonies, but Hokuto also hadn’t done those in a long time, he felt his skills were nowhere near decent. The only things he could think of were cooking, cleaning, laundry, or other house chores he does daily in his old house. A nobleman surely won’t do such mundane things, but was he supposed to only sit down all day? He felt guilty if he did so.
And so he got up, tidied up his futon and changed into his usual shabby kimono, not forgetting to slip his mom’s star-shaped hairpin inside his obi. He noticed the amount of holes and stray fabric on his kimono had increased from the last time he checked on them. I thought I just sewed those, he frowned at the holes, letting out a small sigh. Guess that one is nearing its lifespan, and so are his other kimonos aside from the one he wore when he first came here. He didn’t bring much money when he came here, he could only buy one piece at most. Should he ask Lord Kyomoto for some spare kimonos? The young lord probably has some prepared for his guests, but who is he to do something rude like that? He’ll just have to sew his own back again and settle with it.
The hallway was silent when he went outside. Well, obviously who would be awake at this hour aside from the servants? Haruna-san said that Lord Kyomoto doesn’t require his servants to stay in his house, he allows them to go home after they finish work, so literally it’s just him and the young lord in the house now since neither the head servant lady nor Jesse had come. Hokuto didn’t dare to go to Lord Kyomoto’s room, it would be a lifetime nightmare for the young lord if he sees Hokuto’s face the first thing in the morning. They didn’t really have a decent conversation last night either; they spent dinner time in awkward silence, and Lord Kyomoto went straight to his room right after. Which adds to the reasons why it’s better to leave the young lord alone for now and proceed with whatever chores he could help with.
His instinct told him to go to the kitchen. Maybe Lord Kyomoto would be hungry in the morning, so he decided to make some breakfast. He remembered Mahina would always comment that his cooking tastes bad, so he wasn’t expecting Lord Kyomoto to like it either. But since he had made his mind up to be useful in this house, he had no choice other than trying. He rolled up his sleeves, chopped some meat and vegetables he could find, and also prepared the bowls and trays.
It all went smoothly. Until he realized he needed to light up the fireplace to boil the soup.
The fireplace…
Hokuto bit his lips, he froze in place as his hands fidgeted the tip of his sleeves.
He didn’t know when his trauma became this severe.
Ever since that incident involving his mom’s belongings, a single light of fire always successfully made him cower anxiously. He couldn’t stare too long at a fire source, let alone light up a fireplace by himself. He usually asks the other servants to help him set the fireplace, his hands always tremble whenever he puts the cauldron on top of it.
It was a long time ago, but his skin still remembers clearly the painful burning sensation.
Just as he thought he should wait for either Haruna-san or Jesse, he heard a sound coming from the kitchen’s entrance.
“Good morning Haruna-sa—oh? Who might you be?”
Hokuto got startled by the sudden appearance of a young man around his age in front of the kitchen’s door. His eyes immediately darted downwards, not expecting someone else to come so early. He also rolled back his sleeves down to hide his scars, hopefully the young man saw nothing of it.
“G-good morning… My name is Oizumi Hokuto, I came here yesterday for the marriage arrangement with Kyomoto Taiga-sama.”
“Ah! So you’re Hokuto-sama! My name is Shintaro, I’m Kyomo’s—I mean, Taiga-sama’s chauffeur. Though my job sometimes extends to helping Haruna-san with cooking as well since Jesse can’t cook, hahaha!” the young man let out a laugh.
“N-nice to meet you, Shintaro-san…”
“Are you making breakfast, perhaps?”
“Yes, I didn’t know what I should do, so I just went with my instinct to prepare breakfast for Danna-sama… I’m s-sorry for using the kitchen without permission…”
“Please don’t be! It’s me who should apologize instead for making Taiga-sama’s future spouse go through such a hassle,” so he wasn’t supposed to do this in the first place..? Hokuto felt dumb for not knowing it.
“Haruna-san’s better than me at cooking, but until she comes, please let me know if you need any help!” Shintaro said. His wide smile reminds Hokuto of the kids who often played nearby the Oizumi residence, looking bright and youthful like the sunshine he saw when he woke up earlier. Just like Jesse, he has this friendly and carefree attitude as to call his master with a nickname, though he immediately fixed it.
Maybe Lord Kyomoto wasn’t that bad of a person after all like how rumors said about him. He seems to treat his servants with care and kindness. It’s all different from what Hokuto knew about life as a servant.
“If it’s fine with you… would you mind helping me light up the fireplace..?” Hokuto shyly asked, admittedly wasn’t ready to reveal his fear of fire to other people.
“No problem! Just leave it to me!” Thank God Shintaro wasn’t suspicious about it. The young chauffeur didn’t touch that topic at all, not even the scar on his face. They then continued the meal preparations. It was still mainly Hokuto doing the work, but he did let Shintaro set up the cauldron and fireplace.
Hokuto noticed the young chauffeur is also as extroverted as Jesse. He first asked about Hokuto himself, like what time did he arrive yesterday or his activities after arriving in the Kyomoto residence. He started some small talks in the middle of lighting the fireplace, telling stories about Jesse’s mishaps in the kitchen, or how each of the servants here had their own roles but gradually started doing other stuff too, since Haruna-san is getting older and she needed a helping hand. He even went as far as talking about Lord Kyomoto’s—surprisingly, inability to drive properly, which was the reason why Shintaro, who’s originally just a stable boy, ended up becoming his chauffeur. Hokuto also learned that the three servants have been with Lord Kyomoto since they were little, with Haruna-san being like a second mother figure to the three of them. No wonder they seemed close enough to call their master without honorifics.
Hokuto understood with the part where conditions required them to be a jack-of-all-trades as a servant, he was pressured to be one too back then. But one thing he still can’t relate to was the warmth he felt between these servants and their master. Listening to Shintaro’s stories felt like reading a fairytale with all of its details that sounds too otherworldly.
“But still, I am amazed with you, Hokuto-sama,” Shintaro said to him.
“W-why’s that..?” Hokuto felt really bad for not being able to keep up with Shintaro’s energy, his timid self still hindering him from having a conversation properly.
“I never see Taiga-sama’s fiancés cook for him. You’re the first one. Did you usually also cook for yourself?”
“Ah… I…” he was confused as to how to answer Shintaro. He did all of the cooking and cleaning himself because his condition forced him to do so, but what will Lord Kyomoto say if he knows his fiancé wasn’t someone noble and educated, and is just a lowly servant without any special powers? He needs to hide that fact for now.
“I… yes… I like cooking,” it wasn’t completely a lie, though. He did like cooking, before it became something dreadful to do because he was pressured to do it everyday.
“I see. No wonder you seem to be very good at it!”
“You’re exaggerating, Shintaro-san…”
“Maybe we can let Taiga-sama be the judge for that?” the chauffeur smiled. “Even though I bet he will certainly like your cooking.”
“Let Danna-sama be the judge..?” Hokuto murmured. “Will he… like my cooking? It’s just a simple dish, nothing extravagant…”
“Don’t worry, Taiga-sama usually appreciates every food given to him, especially the ones with a lot of tomatoes! But you prepared this food with your whole heart, and I think that’s surely more than enough.”
They cooked for some more time until Haruna-san and Jesse arrived. The head servant lady was as surprised as Shintaro before when she saw Hokuto in the kitchen. She offered help, but since Hokuto’s almost finished, he asked her not to go to the trouble of helping. Haruna-san then left the kitchen duties to him and went off to attend to other chores. Jesse’s eyes sparked in awe, saying he also wanted a taste of his cooking, before he got shooed away by Haruna-san and ordered to clean the terrace. Shintaro also excused himself to prepare the car after he’s done with helping Hokuto.
Jesse went back to the kitchen after he finished cleaning, saying Haruna-san was still a bit busy with her thing so he’s now the one in charge to help Hokuto with carrying the food trays. They both then carry the food trays to the receiving room, where Lord Kyomoto was waiting.
Today too, the young lord looked as elegant as the first time Hokuto met him. His hair wasn't as neat as it had been yesterday with a few strands sticking out, maybe because he had just woken up. Sunshine rays sipping from the window shined onto his pale skin, making him look more ethereal.
“Good morning, Taiga!” Jesse cheerfully greeted his master, he seemed to completely forget all honorifics usually used by a servant to call his master. Even though Hokuto knew some of their history already, it still shocked him otherwise.
“Good morning, Danna-sama,” Hokuto followed Jesse’s greeting with a small bow. Lord Kyomoto looked at him for a brief moment, which already made Hokuto wonder what he did wrong this time. The young lord then turned to Jesse and sighed.
“Good morning. Didn't I tell you not to call me by that name only when people other than Haruna-san or Shintaro are around, Jesse?”
“You’re just shy because I call you that in front of your future spouse, no?” Jesse teased him, which made the young lord immediately look away. Hokuto also felt some tingling sensation on his cheeks, was it because he was referred to as someone’s spouse? He never had any romantic relationships before, was this feeling normal? Was he just overreacting?
“Today’s special. It’s Hokuto-sama that made your breakfast!”
“Is that so?” Lord Kyomoto seemingly checked the food in front of him. Hokuto could only nod a little, his hands fidgeting with the hairpin he kept inside his obi, hoping he wouldn't have to face any unpleasant things like he usually would in the Oizumi household.
“Yes, he’s a very good cook! Shintaro told me though, I was sent away by Haruna-san before I could taste Hokuto-sama’s cooking,” Jesse jokingly pouted, the young lord only responded with a little hum.
Lord Kyomoto then looked at him again, making Hokuto’s grip on the hairpin tighter. It was the same face he made when he first touched Hokuto’s cheeks yesterday, a delicate one but still manages to crush his defense.
“Sit here,” the young lord pointed to the spot next to him, which Hokuto quickly obeyed.
“You taste it first then.”
“P-pardon me..?” Hokuto looked up, his eyes met with Lord Kyomoto’s.
“Go, try your own cooking first."
Hokuto couldn’t understand what the young lord meant by that.
“You don’t want to eat it?” the lord said again when he didn’t hear any answer.
“No, it’s not that…” How could Hokuto possibly eat first before the lord of this house? That would be so rude of him. His heart beat faster and his hands fidgeted more vigorously than before. His body froze, he tried explaining his reasons but no words could come out of his mouth.
“Did you poison it?”
Hokuto’s eyes instantly widened.
“Wait, what are you saying, Taiga!?” Jesse immediately rose and went in between his master and Hokuto. Hokuto himself is still frozen in his place, unable to move even an inch.
“So you did poison it,” Lord Kyomoto said as he stood up, towering above Hokuto, making him feel inferior and powerless. The young lord is certainly smaller than him in terms of body build, but why is he the one quivering in fear?
“You’re joking right?” Jesse questioned his master again.
“No, I’m not. I saw his hands kept touching his obi. He must’ve hidden the poison’s vial or something inside. It’s obvious.”
Hokuto felt his heart had just stopped. Who would’ve thought his gesture of nervousness could be perceived so differently in another person’s eyes. His hands went limp, no longer fidgeting on the hairpin inside his obi. His head dropped in defeat, having no courage to look at the young lord’s direction.
“Why would Hokuto-sama go as far as doing that!?”
“Did you forget last time, with the Yamashiro family’s daughter? We all almost lost our lives, what made you think he won’t do the same like that girl?”
“But, Taiga—!”
“I don’t eat any food prepared by strangers. Tidy it up.”
The young lord exited the room without any further words. Jesse chased after him, leaving Hokuto alone in the room. His head still dropping low and his mind full of a lot of thoughts he himself couldn’t explain.
Hokuto came to this residence with his feelings already put aside. His feelings for Shime, his feelings of longing for a place to belong, he had thrown away all those behind. But he couldn’t deny that his inner self still hoped for a miracle to happen. He still clings to the hopes that maybe, just maybe, this residence would accept him with open arms.
Of course his hopes won’t be granted that easily. How stupid of him to hope for such a thing.
He’s really grateful with Jesse, Shintaro and Haruna-san’s presence, they are really some of the nicest people he ever met. But Lord Kyomoto… the young lord certainly won’t spare him again after this. The lord wasn’t in the wrong, though. He had a point. Considering his status, it’s understandable he won’t eat food made by strangers. Even though Hokuto prepared food for him out of sincerity and good intentions, it turned out to be a huge failure.
In the end, he is still a failure, a disappointment wherever he goes. Just like what his father always said.
It’s really over now…
Jesse came back to the receiving room some time after Lord Kyomoto had gone to work. The tall servant seemed to be surprised to find Hokuto hadn't bulged from his seat, only staring helplessly on the tray of dishes he had prepared, left untouched by the intended receiver. The soup’s already turned cold, the vegetables not as fresh as before, looking as sad and pitiful as Hokuto himself now.
“Hokuto-sama, I’m truly sorry for Taiga-sama’s attitude earlier,” he apologized and bowed in front of Hokuto. “He’s usually not like this. I’m sorry you had to receive that kind of treatment from him, especially after you went as far as preparing all this food.”
“It’s okay…” Hokuto forced a smile on Jesse, which made the latter even more worried. “I was the wrong one… I should’ve thought better…”
“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong,” the tall servant reassured him. “Would you like some warm tea? If you haven’t eaten breakfast, I’ll ask Haruna-san to make some for you.”
“Thank you, Jesse-san. But I’ll just eat this one, since no one will eat it anyways…” he stopped Jesse weakly. The servants of this household are really too kind to someone like him…
“But that one’s turning cold, I can’t let you eat cold dishes!”
“It’s fine, no need to worry about me…” Jesse was about to say something again, but he assured the tall servant he’s really okay with it. Jesse still looks unconvinced, but he finally let Hokuto go and he himself tended to his other chores.
With a heavy heart, Hokuto brought the tray of food back to the kitchen.
.
.
.